I tried very hard to avoid posting vague and passive aggressive status updates because there wasn't a point; those who cared already knew, and those who didn't just got annoyed. Instead I went the "1000 word" posts instead, by joining Instagram and capturing and curating my life for moments that didn't suck.
So here's a verbal recap that isn't just Instagram photos of my 2015:
- I started the year off with one of the saddest birthdays I have had in a decade, and vowed to never be asleep that early again unless it was from having having too much fun.
- I made a firm decision to leave Pittsburgh as soon as possible, as I was tired of being in a place were I never felt like I fit in, nor had allies to fight in the zombie apocalypse with.
- By December, I had left a total of 3 jobs, and decided that enough was enough, and that if I can't find my place in the kitchen, well dagnammit, I'm just going to make my own.
- I was able to visit California twice in a year, something I haven't done since I left when I was 23, and had my Thomas Wolfe moment that had been building for years, but only now was I able to accept it. Still not quite ready to let go, but almost.
And here I am in 2016, older, but no wiser, with no more grasp on my hopes and dreams than I did when I was 18 or 25, and I'm sure that 30, a mere 360 days away, will only bring an unwelcome plethora of "over the hill" jokes." But I have plans. I really do:
- A new job to start at the end of the month, in a brand new kitchen with a brand new team. I'm very excited about it, and will announce more and post our first write up once we've been reviewed.
- Volunteering has opened so many new doors for me I don't even know where to start. I've in the process of helping out with 2 community cookbooks, and will start to worm my way into a certain national museum that has an entire exhibit about food....
- I'm experimenting and slowly building the foundation and a network for an eventual business concept, but it's years down the line from now. My commitment phobia is still very much in play at the moment, and I'm kinda okay with that.
- The above networking and volunteering has led to so many unexpected emails about opportunities and collaborations that I never thought possible, and it's helping me to get over my impostor syndrome and really own the fact that I could be in fact, awesome.
- I had a once a month travel goal last year, that despite me thinking I failed at it, I really did manage to go somewhere nearly once a month.
On a personal level, I am as lost and confused as ever. My anchor points are all over the country and world and Skype dates and phone calls are soothing balms on my soul. Never underestimate the power of a text message, or an 4 sentence email to let someone know you are still on their radar, and that you matter.
So here is my reality: I'm living in DC for the foreseeable future. My new job shows promise and excitement, and what professionally enriching joy I cannot obtain during my work hours will be found in museums and food banks. I am very slowly building a personal network, but maintaining my global one is very high on my list. I hope to keep up with my travels, but I do have to be somewhat financially responsible.
Feel free to come visit me; I have a spare bedroom, and can almost promise you food.
I promise myself to keep putting myself in awkward positions that will lead to interesting stories for you all. No resolutions. No regrets. And now here is a picture of me trying to climb a tree while drunk, because there should always be drunk tree climbing when in Philly.
